So, I was corresponding with my friend, Missy L., through email and I got started on this subject and it gave good inspiration for a blog entry. Moving to a place where I don't know a soul, where I have laying ahead of me the task of meeting new people and making new friends (which, for a former very shy little girl, can be extremely frightening), where distance separates me from those I know the best, has made me contemplate the idea of friendship. In Louisville, and even just a little beyond (KY Lake, Big M. in Vegas and Kendall in Atlanta, etc.), we have a group of friends that I consider to be something very special. The roots of these friendships stretch so deep. They were created by aquaintance and made stronger by time. It is an enormous network (facebook has the evidence). We have so many people available to us to share in our celebrations and to give us support when we need it.
So, being that nearly all of my friendships have shared aquaintance or time in it's DNA, I wonder, is it possible to establish new friendships in a place and atmosphere where time and frames of reference are not an option? Most of the people we have and will meet here have a connection to the Naval base. I think the language barrier will keep us from establishing bonds with alot of Japanese nationals. Because of this, the people you meet will come and go so often. I have already met several people who I really enjoy being around, but most of these budding friendships are already threatened by departure dates. Also, we have no established friendships here, so there is no one to vouch for the authenticity or sincerity of the people that we do meet (this is what I mean by frame of reference). I wonder if there will be anyone here in Japan that we could really depend on if there were to come an occasion when we needed someone closeby. I wonder, where is the line between aquaintance and friendship - between friendliness and loyalty? Sometimes you wonder if the next thing out of your mouth will be the thing that changes someone's opinion of you. As I told Missy, I am missing the people who already know me and accept me for who I am, regardless of our differences. I am missing those people I can say anything in front of and not worry about judgement because our bond is already established. I am missing sharing the motherhood years with the girls I once partied and got crazy with! A girl I met here (with whom I've shared some fun shopping trips), who has traveled the world, says she characterizes a friend as someone you enjoy spending time with. That sounds good to me. I will just enjoy the people I meet and those who make our days here in Japan fun and memorable. We have been fortunate to have crossed paths with many helpful people so far. I will just appreciate this. Thank you to those folks. And if a lasting friendship or two does develop, all the better. This is just a new experience for me and has led me to all of this contemplation.
Emailing, skyping, chatting,...facebooking?...have been incredible tools to help feed our emotional needs, our connections to those we love. I am so thankful for this technology! Thank you to all of the people back home who have stayed in contact with us. For me, there are a special few of you who have been rocks - thanks Carlye (you rock, my rock!), Randy, Michael, Gran, Corey Lee & Chelsea, Missy, Hope, Lesley, Leigh. I know alot more of you are keeping up with us by reading this blog. It is just so nice to read some of your words and thoughts.
To all of our friends, I say, thank you. This distance has given us an even greater appreciation for what we have in you.
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2 comments:
i miss you!!!!
Missy-- I know people in Tahara-shi in Aichi-Ken Japan. How far is that from you? I think they would be there for you in a second, if needed....and they are nationals too. It's not an easy place to be, but it will get better. It's especially hard in the winter! Thinks will look up though...the friendships will come. Feel free to write me an email. jlshahroudi@yahoo.com
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